Grandpa’s Skate Deck

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Are you in desperate need of some Grandpa Sex Machine merchandise?  I thought so.  That’s why I did you the favor of making Gus available on a skate deck.
GSM skate deck

But wait, there’s more!  For all of you old farts (like me) that’ll break a hip if you try to ollie, here’s the GSM longboard, built for cruisin’.

And finally, because all the kids dig the snow sports these days, the GSM snowboard, featuring Grandpa printed on a genuine Donek snowboard.  Sweet.

So think about this stuff for your Valentine–because nothing says “I Love You” like a dirty old man with a thong on his head.

New projects and old age

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So I tried watching the MTV Video Music Awards last night and felt completely out of touch.  I had always heard that the big target demographic that advertisers are after are “Men, 18-35.”  I always thought “Weird.  I won’t suddenly change into my father at the age of 36.”  Well on Saturday I turned 36, and as I tried watching the VMAs on Sunday I realized that I was right about not changing into my father, but the problem was that I hadn’t changed into a hip young kid, either.  I am irrelevant.

The whole Myspace thing seems like a place for kids to spend time online–being angsty and putting themselves at risk for abduction.  So I joined Facebook and thought, “Yeah.  Looks like adults are here.  People I graduated High School with.  Nice.”  Then I got my first piece of “Flair,” and as I looked throughout the choices of flair and realized that I have no opinion whatsoever on either the Jonas Brothers or Twilight, it became apparent that 98% of this Flair thing was not targeted at me.  Once again, I’m irrelevant.

So…36 Saturday, VMAs on Sunday.  Feeling old.  Then Kid Rock came on, and I thought “Seriously?  He’s still around?  He sucked when he was new, like 10 years ago, didn’t he?”  That’s when I realized that I’ve been out of the loop for a lot longer than I previously thought.

Anyhow, the overhaul is complete–go check it out.

Also, I’ve opened up a skateshop kind of a thing. The folks at popdeck started up a print-on-demand service they call deckpeck for getting skateboard decks printed.  You can buy some of my art printed on these decks for a mere $50 (plus shipping).  So check it out, and buy a board.  Please?

Sorry no Grandpa Sex Machine updates–no time to color lately.  I’ve got several all sketched out, I just need to color.  Once they are up I’m going to concentrate on another project for a bit.  More on that shortly.

Haiku for a Laminate Floor

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Clean, flat, fragrance-free
Dude, you gotta see my floor.
Timmy’s my hero.

Not quite finished yet (still have to do the baseboards), but the floors are down and a VAST improvement over the gross carpet that was on top of the busted linoleum that was on top of the original asphalt tile. Thanks, Tim.

Anyhow, no promises on the the next Grandpa Sex Machine update, but I will say I’ve got a couple drawn and waiting to be scanned and colored. Hopefully we’ll get the baseboards done quickly and I can get back at it. Of course, when the remodeling junk is finished, I’ve got some web-design work to do–that pays better than Grandpa does, so it’s my number one priority. Later.

The stirrings of life…

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Just letting you know that stuff is starting to happen. By now you may have noticed that the funnies are no longer available at, making this subdomain more useful and less redundant. The old site is now more of a portfolio thing, and you can see some of the stuff I’ve been working on, distracting me from important stuff like lecherous old men and boobs. I put together new websites for the Looking Glass Playhouse, a community theater in Lebanon, and the Southern Praying Mantis Kung Fu Academy in St. Louis. To be filed under “nepotism,” you’ll also see the genealogy site I did for my mom, and the cross-stitch site I redesigned for my sister-in-law (to be re-redesigned this summer).

Also did some more Quidditch team art for another Harry Potter conference last Spring, but bailed out on the one that’s in the works for this summer. Actually, I considered bailing out, changed my mind and agreed to do it, then lost contact with the people in charge and eventually found out that I’d been replaced. That’s cool though. My Potions Masters logo from Phoenix Rising was such a big hit, some people got tattoos of it. Sweet, huh?

But I know that’s not why your here. If you stopped by, it’s on the off chance that I got off my butt and drew something. Well, back in the Fall of ’06, I did a guest strip for Yirmumah that addresses my lack of updates (be warned–the language is a bit rougher than I typically use around here, but what do you expect? It’s Yirmumah!) Well, now, over a year after that guest strip, less than two years after a new comic here, I’ve got 4 Grandpa Sex Machine comics in the can and ready to post. I’m currently working on getting a few Sin Police comics ready to go as well. Comics will begin again in April, but I’m not going to promise any kind of regular schedule. I know that’s completely unprofessional, but that sort of fits the definition of someone that doesn’t get paid to do stuff. I’m also thinking about a few other projects, involving zombies, time machines, and beer, but I suppose I don’t really need any more distractions than I’ve already got, do I?

I guess that’s about it for now–check back in April for new comics, and if you subscribed to the old RSS feed, you’ll need to do that all over again as this feed is coming from a new (sub)domain. I appreciate the patience, and those of you that have been bugging me for new comics, I actually appreciate that as well. It just means that I was doing something you dug and wanted more of. See you next month!