I spent hours trying to cut down on the dialogue, and this is the best I could come up with? Sad.

Birds of Prey

The other day I was driving down Main Street through town on my way to work, and I saw this woman, probably in her late 50s/early 60s, in her relatively small front yard with what looked like a hawk on her arm. She was sort of stooped over, scanning the ground as though searching for a lost set of keys, or perhaps a wounded squirrel. I’ve always thought that falconry would be an interesting hobby, although I have no interest in hunting, but it seems to me that there are better places to practice it than in your 15’x5′ lawn on Main Street, which just happens to be the longest Main Street in the US, btw.

Maybe I’ll train my cotton-top tamarin to hunt with a hawk. That will be stage three in my plan for world domination.

Technorati Topic Tags: webcomic, religion, falconry, hawk, raptor, birds of prey, falcon

This is the part of the story with the blatantly contrived radio broadcast, designed to camouflage a bit of exposition. Hopefully it will be worth it and things will make a tiny bit more sense over the course of the next few episodes.

Is it June yet?

Spring Break is over, so I’m back at the grind. Borrowed FLCL (Fooly Cooly) from a kid and finally watched it over the break. Crazy weird stuff, but pretty neat. I only saw Vols. 1 and 3, so I was probably a bit more confused by it than I would be seeing the whole thing. In spite of that, I dug it. Makes me want my bass guitar back, or possibly a Flying V, so I can smack people in the head and make robots. Instead, I’ve got a piece of crap acoustic guitar that can’t be tuned w/o a pair of pliers. If I smacked people in the forehead with it, I don’t think it’d even give them a headache.

Gordon plans a couple hours of teeth-brushing followed by hanging out with his brother. Ah, the wild life of a comic character.

Spring Break update

Well, walking around at the zoo all day after a full-day of yardwork and lumberjacking wasn’t quite as brutal as I expected. My new favorite animal? The cotton-top Tamarin. It’s this tiny little black, white and grey monkey with white crazy long hair on top of its head. Reminds me of Albert Einstein. Either that or Don King. I’m always getting those guys mixed up.

Followed up Monday’s zoo trip with skateboarding with my son on Tuesday. Today? It’s a trip to the dentist. Ah, the wild life of a comic creator.

Ok, so there’s no priest at the door (and what’s with that, by the way?). It’ll make more sense eventually.

I’m sore

So the wind blew down a tree in our yard a couple nights ago, and Sunday was the day we cleaned it all up. Went ahead and turned it into a whole day of yard work, and now it hurts me real bad. Still gonna try to go to the zoo today, because my son and I are on Spring Break. Maybe I’ll rent a wheelchair or something. I’m so outta shape.

Nothing like getting torn a new one when you already know you screwed up big. You just have to sit there and take it because you know you earned it. On the plus side, though, it provides a small distraction from worrying about what you know the greater consequences will be.

Funny stuff you should check out

I used to work at a movie theater (actually, I worked at 2 or 3 of them) when I was a kid (well, between 16 and 22), and I have to say that Multiplex comes pretty close to capturing the experience. Look through the archives–it’s good stuff.

Gordon’s life is full of regrets. Here’s another one.

Oh crap, indeed.

Volkswagen commercials rock

Peter Stormare has been in a million different things (check out his page at IMDB), and I’m always entertained by his work. Most recently, those VW commercials in which he “unpimps ze auto,” have had me laughing loudly. A couple years back there was a car commercial that had the Nick Drake song, Pink Moon–that was Volkswagen too, wasn’t it? AND, when I was a sophomore in high school, I had an English teacher that lived on a ranch where he raised Volkswagens. Weird, huh?

It’s all starting to come back to him, but he didn’t want it in the first place. Poor Gordon.

What a crappy show

If you had told me a year ago that a reality show filmed at the Playboy mansion about Hef’s girlfriends would be a total suckfest, I would have thought you meant it in the good way. I’ve only seen 2 episodes of The Girls Next Door, but they’ve both made me sad and depressed. When it first aired, the main criticism I heard was that it ought to be hot, but isn’t, because nothing hot happens. I agree that that’s the problem with it, but not because I’m trying to get some vicarious jollies from watching. The thing makes me sad because, based on what we see, Hef ain’t gettin’ any. Now I understand their argument is that they want to keep their private life private, and that’s fine, but if that’s truly the case, why the hell is there a camera crew in your home?! So all we’ve got to go on is what that camera crew shows us, and the most it shows us is the occassional peck on the cheek. That’s sad for a couple reasons. First off, we’re talking about HUGH FREAKIN’ HEFNER here. With the history that this guy has, every time he walks away with nothing but lipstick on his cheek, he’s just gotta be reminded of his own mortality. “Holy crap. I’m Hugh Freakin’ Hefner, and I got nothing but lipstick on my cheek. When did I get so old?”

Even sadder is what this means for the rest of mankind. If celebrity billionaire Hugh Hefner can’t even get to second base with any one of the three chicks who claim to love him, what hope do the rest of us have? He invited those girls to live in his MANSION and he’s not scoring. How’s some broke-ass middle-class joe-schmo yutz supposed get anything off of the wife who barely tolerates him?

But who knows? Maybe he’s getting it constantly and it’s just not on the show. Or maybe it is on the show, just not on the episodes I forced myself to sit through. But like I said, based on the evidence before me, it just makes me sad.

Ever have one of those moments when someone starts asking you about events you should know intimately, but you don’t? Eh, me either, but it happens on the TV all the time.

Snow? In SPRING?!

Actually, that’s not so rare around here. I remember hunting Easter eggs in the snow as a kid. Had our only snow day of the year yesterday, so I had no T-1 access to put up today’s update (my crappy dial-up at home is completely unreliable). The gift that is a snow day made up for it all, though. It’s like when you find unexpected money in an old coat pocket. I feel cheated if I get through a whole winter w/o a single snow day. Not that I did anything particularly fun or productive, but just the fact that I got a brief reprieve from the Man, w/ no commitments or responsibilities. Good times, man. Good times.

And the non-stop action continues. I miss the breakfast bar in our old kitchen. Of course I only lived in that apartment for about 9 months, and that was 11 years ago. Still, it made an impression.

Nothing else to say today. More Sin Police on Wednesday.